Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
