She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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