if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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