So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't deserve a penis
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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