i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
