i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
