It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
