he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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