Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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