she was so not down for the gang bang
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
