all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
