i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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