OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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