do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What drink are we having for lunch?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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