I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
