I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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