I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
