O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
