i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
