eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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