i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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