She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
