with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
