We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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