i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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