You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
