i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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