I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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