just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
