Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize