Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
