she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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