You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
