butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've blown a few things in my day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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