i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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