All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
