I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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