dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
