so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
