What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
