are you so shy because you have an std?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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