one might say we're banned from that church
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
