are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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