It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
