I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
