I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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