we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I party with great urgency now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
