He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
