so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
