Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
