we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
