Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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