I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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