Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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