I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
