Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
