Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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