Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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