I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize