I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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